Can't wait to run again

It's been more than a month that I haven't run. I was doing one of my practise runs when I sustained a stress fracture. I had to stop running right away. They say, it takes 6 to 8 weeks for the stress fracture to heel. It has been just 5 weeks. That means I might have to wait for another 2 weeks to start running again. If you ask me how I feel about that, its tough to explain. It took me first 3 week just to accept that I am injured. I was in constant denial and still hoping to run Malnad ultra. But when the injury showed no progress, I slowly accepted that I will have to miss the race. When I accepted this, I became more relaxed. Though I had already switched to cross training, I was also going through a severe episode of back pain and I was not able to do my workouts. My back pain is directly related to the stress in my life.
Getting injured was enough stressful and to add to that, I was fighting a different battle at emotional level. All this induced severe back pain and it took 21 days and a lot of self-counselling to bring down this pain to the level of tolerance. In these 21 days, I had not exercised much, my injury showed no signs of improvement and my personal life was a turmoil. My race was already gone. I went through immense depression and unfortunately I did not share this with anyone. I did not want my negativity to impact anyone else. But I did have friends whom I could always call and talk generally.
What I did realize in this whole episode was that acceptance is crucial to moving on in life. Be it with physical injuries or emotional traumas. Because the moment you accept that what is happening to you is beyond something you can control, you start the healing process there and then. Because the very first thing that happens after acceptance is you free your mind of an important question - why me?
So now the only focus becomes enjoying the options you are left with. For me it was picking up swimming and cycling. And it also was loving what I have in life rather than crying over what I dont have or cannot have control on.
We are so focused on trying to figure out the answer for "why me", we forget to find the cure of the problem. If i had still cribbed over "why me," I probably would have been in a worse stage than what I am in right now. And though I always knew that acceptance was the key, I so easily forgot to use it.  The only person who reminded me of it was my dear friend Meena. She has always been my strength and she will continue to be so.
After those initial 3 weeks, after my back pain calmed down and after I felt recovered from everything, I started spending more time in the swimming pool. It never failed to uplift my mood and increase my confidence. On some days, I just took out my cycle and went biking for hours. I returned home only after I was tired.
All this time, I forgot about running. And that sped my recovery. I believe lot of these injuries are directly dependant on our emotional state. Today, I still can't run and I may have to wait a bit more before I start doing that, but i am sure that I do not want to hurry. I will come back strong and go out and run races but I will have to wait.
It's tough to be sidelined during peak racing season, seeing my dream going a bit further, but it's important to be able to run again. Patience is not only a virtue, it is the key. And while I wait, I have to enjoy what I have and what I can do.
Each and every cell in my body is impatient. It wants to hit those trails, feel that breeze, spot those birds but that same cell is also patient. It gulps down the excitement and calms itself and says, "one day for sure".

And amidst all this confusion, impatience, self-talk and consoling, I can't wait to run again.